Two file clips and a piece of tissue.

It's so frustrating when you know you can actually do it, and every time you tried, the result is just not good enough. Having a two person group to do a urban project is so hard. For people who thought that i'm doing this project alone, no, the other guy had been put a lot afford on it too, but it's just not good enough for only two person, maybe i just need to try harder too. By that, I need some motivation and faith on it, i've been trying so hard to search for it. By far, Ms Elis is the only one i'm believing in now, since she's still has some believing in me. At least she made me feel like that. So, there will be a critique session again tomorrow, no sleeps tonight i think. Wish me luck.

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The aircond in studio is killing me. Freaking freezing.

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Anyway, going back to hostel now. There's no point to do works alone without having you by my side.

I need a leap of faith.

I'm sorry if i put you into this kind of test. Since i failed mine, i want you to pass yours. Forgive my selfishness and childishness, but this is the only way for me to strengthen my faith to be more believable. Don't worry, i probably will hate you more, but i won't love you less.
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Maybe you won't give a damn, but who cares? But if you do care, please prove to me, give me some strenght to have a leap of faith.

Hey, look at this. It's only for you. :)

The present i gave probably is not the most expensive one between all of your presents, but i did spend a lot of time on it, so preciouskan okay! And i know you will be reading this article, so i actually saved my money by not giving you a birthday card, if i did, you'll throw it anyway. So, blah. And yeah, this article dedicated to you. ONLY ;)
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Hey, 21 years old d lah bitch, it's time to grow up and learn how to forget stuff. I know i told you like 15416546132 times, and you promised me like 564864321321 times, but you never actually done that. It's time to have some different wishes, being stubborn is not helping, and not gonna make your wish come true anyway. Watching you in pain is bad, and i know that feeling somehow, HAHAHA. Please, this time make it real. I know it's hard, but at least try kay!
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Owh, next time, wear the skirt i gave you, and we dating again kay?
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Happy Birthday and may your wishes all come true. :)

No, no scream, just talk.

It has been a long time, still, i couldn't let it go. Don't ask me why, i just couldn't, with no reason. I hope someday, someone will be replacing someone, something will be changed, and somewhere will be gone far away. But before that day comes, i need to hold and try to get used to that kind of pain. Or misery i would say.
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Honestly, there's nothing i can do, nothing. Sometimes, you just can't get what you want even though you tried hard, no why, if that is not belongs to you, then that will not and never belongs to you in the future anyway. It's worth to try thou. It makes you grow, makes you strong, makes you become a better person, that's what i feel. Probably there's a little bit disappointment, pain and scar, but at the end, worth it, so worth it.
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Anyway, I want you to be mine.
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'You, coward.'
'Yes, i am.'

No, i'm still a free thinker.

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'A spectacular blend of arts, music and performance from countries around the world.' -- International Cultural Nite.

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So i went to this with Melissa and Christine, with Michael invitation. First of all, i have to say, they've blended into Malaysia cultural so well, event supposedly should start from 4, but they started from 5.30, typical Malaysian cultural. Anyway, we saw Mr. Zahari and his son too, but they'd left before the event end which is understandable, first, Mr. Zahari was kind of sick and secondly, i can't imagine how's that feels as a Muslim sitting inside the hall and listening to others praising to Jesus. And NO, i don't know Muslim can't go inside the church. Slap me please, but that was only a hall with a huge christian cross, not a church, so it's okay lar. And Bryan and Michelle and Michelle parents were there too.

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Bryan and Michelle, still gorgeous.

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I met a lot of people from other countries with different skin color, language, cultural and personality through this event and i learned something about people which is quite such a impact to me, especially people with black skinned. When i was small, my mum always threatened me with black people (no matter is Indian, Bengali or African, just black people) if i did something wrong or i tried to do something bad, so this mindset had been set into my brain for 20 years, until i met Michael. From that moment on, i feel like they are just like us, normal people, probably with extra muscles, extra passionate and extra melanin. I agree, media have been polluted people mindset with tons of negative news and information about black people, especially African, talking about their war, their government blah blah blah. Okay, to be fair, probably some of them are bad guy, but most of the blacks are just like us, normal people, even me, i don't think that Chinese is a perfect race, eh please lar, Chinese does do rob, drugs, fraud or fight, some of us do. But we can't just refuse to accept people because they are different from us.

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Anyway, the event went so well, especially the food, uhh, so good *eyesrolling*. Talking about food, i think i should go buy some food for breakfast later :d. And we took a lot of photos, chat a little bit and know each other, it was a brand new experience for me to communicate and connected with people who have totally different background from me. I think i will join next time if there's a event similar like this again, but no 'trying to convince me to be Christian' session. I'm not believe in god, at least not now.

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Oh btw, we've met Iranian version of one direction.

The last two from left, please be nice, no assaulting here.

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Go grab some food now. Bai.

The Hunger Games

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So i just went to cinema for this movie, 'The Hunger Games' which is probably the hottest movie in every cinema now. It was okay, but to be fair, due to the limited story line, Gary did try his best to present the originality with his incredible cinematography skill in this movie. RM10 for a 2 and half hours movie, so worth it, maybe not the best, but it was nice.

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I didn't read the book, and i'm glad i didn't, because if i did, i would be way more disappointed than now. Honestly, i don't really like the story line, okay, maybe the materials they used were special, but the whole story line was based on love, sometimes, it gets boring, that's why i don't really movies like 'Twilight' or 'John Carter'. I think that's a small little tiny disappointment FOR ME. When i thought they are gonna eat those poisoned berries, and attempt to die together, i was like 'okay, it's kinda interesting' but somehow i know that's not gonna happen, because that is not what teenagers nowadays want to see. Sadly, yeah, they didn't. The ending was predictable, nothing surprising. Sorry if I've being extremely picky, maybe it's just not my type of movie i like.

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Too much to show, too little time to have. Too much focus on Katniss, there was no characteristic about other characters, even Peeta. And i don't think Peeta was described as a coward in the original novel, but in this movie, he is kinda coward. The only scene that showed his ability was the scene he throw the steel ball (i don't even know what it is made of, and how heavy it is), that was a cursory description. But since they really focus on Katniss, the journey that she had been through has been explained well and clearly.

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Other than that, costume was fantastic; sounds effect, okay; cinematography, fantastic; CG effect, could be better; cast, great; overall, good but not great, 6.5/10 i would give. I'll give it a shot to the book i think, because book always better than movie, that's what i believe. Many people compare this to Twilight, but i have to say, definitely 31354657486321234 times better than twilight. At least i didn't fall asleep during watching The Hunger Games.

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Owh, i really like Rue in The Hunger Games. She was adorable. Her real name is Amandla Stenberg, if you've watched the movie called 'Colombiana', then you will definitely remember her remarkable acting in that movie too. This is her photo.

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She's adorable, don't you think?

Read it, and forget it. Whatever.

So many things to learn, so little time to have. ......erm, okay, maybe i was just wasting my precious time by doing nothing. That's how plan goes. We planned, we abandoned. Reality is the reality you have to face anyway. But whatever, who cares?

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Studying exam is a misery. I have been suffering by studying exam all the time. I know why I always failed my exam, not literally failed, but not as good as i expected, and every time i try my best to memorize it, the harder i try, the less thing i can remember. Yes, i'm suffering now, i'm studying my exam, and writing my blog at the same time. What a good student huh?!

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But, you know what, as i said, you probably can get A in every subjects, no matter that is theory or design subject, but it doesn't mean that you are a good designer too. No offence, but this is one of the reality too. You can get good result because you done all your best to impress the lecturer or teacher, and you did as good as lecturer expected, but you'll never know, all the stuff you did is all in the box, being a designer, you should have your own way to create something really unique and unexpectable. But to someone, that's unacceptable.

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You can say that i'm finding excuses to escape from studying, whatever. What i said is what i said. I don't even care your opinion, you can be a fucking examination machine, i don't care, that's your life, but you'll never be a successful person in designing. Just saying.

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Yeah, maybe i'm just jealous.

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By the way, what is my attitude problem? What does that supposed to mean? I never showed my attitude since i had graduated from my high school. For me, attitude problem is kinda serious problem, and i've been labeled 'attitude student' all the time? What the fuck are you thinking? You know what, forget it, cause you will never understand me anyway, and i don't expect you to.

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The scar will heal, as time goes by.

These Broken Hands of Mine

No reason, just obsessed with this song.

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Adele dream.

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I dreamt about Adele this morning, she was singing 'someone like you', and she look gorgeous.

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Sometimes it last in love but sometimes it hurt instead.

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I gotta move on. As my friend said, i deserve better.

Get a life, dude.

Sometimes, to achieve your goal, you need to get your ass up and fight, not by just saying. I'm trying not to be mean, but sitting in front of your laptop, watching movie and get fed-spoon by others is not gonna make your life getting better. I know i'm not that good to judge anyone, but being a burden? No! No one want that, no one want a burden in your life. You always tell me that how big is your dream and how perfect is your plan, in the end, all i see is nothing. NOTHING. Everyone has their own limit, and you better don't reach mine. If you do, i could be fucking selfish and watch you fall with my eyes and help you nothing. And you don't want me to do that, trust me.

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Fucking do something useful.

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If this is the life you want, i have nothing to say to you then. Get real.

It's not all about Valentine.

Happy Valentine's Day. Hope everyone get some perfect gifts from your love one. But if you are still alone, it's okay, at least you won't get any terrible gift, like 'broken heart'.

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Btw, whoever want chocolates, come and get it from me, i have some and i don't eat chocolate.

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kthxbai.

War Horse.

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Separated by war. Tested by battle. Bound by friendship.

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A commitment between a horse and a British boy. A movie touch into your deepest part of your heart and your purest part of your soul.

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Strongly recommended. Epic director, and a damn epic movie. Get a damn ticket, and go into the damn cinema and damn watch it, if you are a cryer, this movie will not disappoint you. Everything was perfect. I actually wanted to watch this so badly after i saw the trailer on youtube, so i went to cinema yesterday to watch this movie right after Malaysia's cinemas get it on screen. If you haven't watch this, please go and watch, you can't get great movie like this everyday.

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You did a great job Steven Spielberg. And i know you never let me down anyway.

Revolution's revolution.

So, i promised myself to do a post about my Chinese New Year, and i guess now it's the perfect time to do it.

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What can i say? Having a family like this, is awesome. I know, sometimes it's so hard to be perfect, but no one is perfect, being appreciate and grateful is more important than making a perfect person or family. Anyway, the reunion dinner was freaking awesome, tomyam and miso steamboats with bbq steak? THAT WAS INSANE. And guilty too. Special thanks to my mum and my eldest brother who is a chef, they prepared every delicious food by their own.

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I love you mum. Like always.

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With my bestest friends. We went to Overtime, Library and Station One in Mount Austin, that was a freaking amazing night with them. Please, get the party started. Again.

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With my high school friends, we went to our teacher homes for angpao, having Japanese food, gambling and staff. Meeting them is like reminding myself that 'how old am i'. When we talked about our funny, embarrassing, crazy, stupid stuff, i was like 'it's already been 8 years? OMG i am so fucking old now!' But never mind, we are the same! LOL!

I will never forget them. Never. Ever.

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Last but not least. My college friends. Seriously, standing in the middle of those young kids was a bad idea, and i don't wanna to explain why again, it driving me crazeh. Oh, the picture above had been taken after we completed the fashion design of using recycle materials like plastic bag, manila card, angpao pack and stuff on our model which is Nesh. So, how stressful can an architecture student be, as you can see, it's a lot.

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Hey, 09CD, can we get some awesome photos by next Saturday. :) And i promise that that will be awesome. Can't wait.

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I am a boring person. I am a person who easy to get jealous. I am an overthinking person. I shy sometimes. But i've tried so hard. I just hope you know that i've been trying my best to reach you all the time, but i failed somehow. And this is fucking freaking me out.

Exactly.

I won't let you go. At least not so easily.

Under Water Sculpture - Man on Fire. A masterpiece of art, science, and environment.

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"Submerged in transparent ocean waters, my life-size statues act as tropical reefs. At first they look like ruins form an ancient civilization. But look closely. They are based on real people performing contemporary acts, cast from coral-friendly, pH-neutral concrete. Why do i create them? To show what a sustainable, symbiotic relationship with nature might look like.

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Five years ago in Grenada, West Indies, my training in sculpture, diving, set design, and photography converged. I realized that underwater statues might be an artistic way to help revive one bay's ecosystem. After the government agreed, the scale and my ambition grew. I've since sunk hundreds of works and shot the results.

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First I sketch a statue, then research how best to construct, transport, and i install it using cranes and a crew. Once it's finally in place, up to six months later, I get to photography it-that's the fun part. But it's also a challenge. Salt water alters shapes; weather and light are fickle. So I have to really focus on the opportunity at hand.

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Snorkelers, scuba divers, and tourists in glass-bottom boats all see my work now. I hope they enjoy it but also appreciate where it's located-at a vital intersection of art, science, and the environment."

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-- said Jason deCaires Taylor, the photographer which is based in Mexico. See more of his work at Under Water Sculpture.

I'm one of the Scandalist now.

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So, i went to this shop called 'The Scandalist', it's located at Bazaar Johor, behind the POJB, easy to find. It was amazing. First, the interior design in this shop was stunning, decorated with artistic paintings, old furniture, old-style radio and classical lamp; secondly, they have a lot of choices of clothes, necklace, belt, specs, shoes, hats and etc, most of them are fashionable and delicate. And the most important thing is, it won't cost you a lot by buying them. :O 20 bucks for a Levi's Jeans, that's how you get it. :)

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I am happy. I hope you know what i'm sayin'. Unless i'm wrong again, and i don't want to.

Happy CNY.

First of all

Happy Lunar New Year to everyone!!!!!!!!

I'm having blast here at my hometown and i wish you all have a great time too. :) I can actually feel the Chinese New Year's aura this year. And the reunion dinner yesterday was perfect if only Jen were here with us. :( Maybe next time! Wish you have a Happy Chinese New Year at UK! And good luck with your internship. :)

Photo of the year. <3

Again, Happy Lunar New Year everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Owh, btw, watching you flirting with another guy probably is the BEST thing ever happened to me during CNY. NOT, it's killing me.

As you can see.

I deleted most of my articles. All of the articles i had deleted were a mistake. And i thought that maybe i deserve a fresh new start since I've been living under someone's shadow for too long. I wish i can be a better person by having a better life.

Anyway, looking back is so not me, i hate looking back, cause every time i look back, it always full of awkwardness, hilariousness, and embarrassment. Really, i don't meant to.

Lesson learned: Put yourself first. ALWAYS. No offence.

Sharks don't cry

This video is fucking pissing me off in the middle of the night.

楚河漢界

也許 我們真的是兩個不同世界的人

我不知道你的世界長什麼樣子

但我的世界

就只有我和我那被拉長的影子

愛情也許就是這樣子

模糊不清最美麗